Summer look by Deladeso.
Oh HI! I know I promised I'd be back here weekly, but I was full of shit. Well-meaning, sparkly shit, but shit nonetheless. A reader of mine had actually agreed to pay me to write down my own thoughts in my own (well-meaning, sparkly) tone, which is undoubtedly the most benevolent proposition I have ever received, barring the time that a man living under the bridge at North and Ashland offered to braid my hair in exchange for... letting him touch my hair. In both instances, something felt off, though. In regards to the latter overture: I am somewhat attached to my hair and its proximity to my head. In regards to the former: this out of date blog is no longer a super accurate representation of who I am as a writer and a human, and the overhaul it deserves will take time I don't currently have.
So basically, I'm not ready for your generosity, kind reader. But I'm ready for your generosity, Universe. Holla atcha gurl. Here are some life happenings, of late, and my input on them. FREE OF CHARGE.
- It struck me the other day that I haven't focused on self care in almost a year. Trust me, I'm not suffering. My "office" yesterday was poolside. (And I pulled off my most successful yogic handstand ever. And I got lunch with my mama. And I was elected Education and Outreach Co-Chair of this rad organization. And I had BAND PRACTICE. So like... I'm okay.) But, if you poke around this corner of the internet at all, you'll realize that my particular brand of self care entails making stuff. Stuff with words. Stuff with my hands. Stuff that is only for me and occasionally the internet at large. So on Sunday, I didn't check my email at all and I painted my room in my underwear -- an illicit shade of teal that breaks my lease agreement but reminds me of the Hell pit apartment I shared with my college best friend on the second floor of a chicken wing palace known as Buff Joe's. And I was so, so happy... not only to be in possession of a blue bedroom, but to have done something by myself, for myself, that made me feel capable.
- I'm slowly but surely learning to trust myself, which is the secret key to setting boundaries, I think. I trust that if I'm burnt out, it will behoove everyone for me to take a break. I trust that if I'm feeling a feeling, I should try to honor it because it's rooted in truth. Because I'm a goddamn lady. With an INTUITION. And my 27 years on Earth have afforded me the privilege to be discerning with how I spend my energy.
- On that note, I don't have to immediately jump on every opportunity that comes hurdling my way; via men under bridges, anonymous blog benefactors, etc. etc. etc. I'm building something -- a life, and a nebulous empire (new band name: Nebulous Empire), which takes a while. You know? And said opportunities are never truly lost if we remain open to them.
So. Here I am. Open to opportunity, tryna live my best life, dreaming up next steps but not necessarily taking them right away. Where you at? What are you up to? TELL ME YOUR STORIES I MISS THE HECK OUT OF YOU.