Courtesy of The Thought Studio.
Good morning, Sweet Friend. I missed you.
I've been ghosting you all for about a month -- by far the longest I've ever gone without fluttering in to smother the internet with the rotundity of my feelings -- and in response to the concerned emails I've received from many of you in recent weeks, it's confirmed: I am alive. In fact, not only am I alive, but I am well. I am high-vibing, clear-headed and whole. Thank you so much for asking.
My roommate and I are on a Julie Delpy kick (we are always on a Julie Delpy kick), and as I am a movie-Philistine, I just watched Before Sunrise for the very first time. Ethan Hawke's character, who I'm altogether certain will turn out to be a big baby but no spoilers pls/thx, voices his problem with the idea of reincarnation: our planet houses billions more living souls than it once did, so if we're all reincarnates of ancient hearts, we're fractured people simply because there aren't enough ancient hearts to go around.
I've been feeling like a fractured person, myself, for about six months. Not because of reincarnation -- this isn't 1995 and I'm not a neo-Buddhist with an erratically sprouting upper lip -- but because I've been deeply unhappy in my work, I've been looking for new work, and I've had to pour all of my creative energy into playing the part of someone wholly content with their day-to-day. Call it acting. Call it lying. It's exhausting and I very much dislike it.
Honesty is freedom, though, and that's why I have this blog. Aside from my recent struggle, I can usually speak my truth here -- identify it and try to make sense of it and find others with the same truth. We, Sparkle Sisters, feel the same heartbeat: we're part Frida Kahlo, part Sylvia Plath, part bowlegged baby giraffe -- we're the harmonious sums of so many recycled souls. We're not fragmented for sharing parts of ourselves: we're more complete than ever.
So Ethan Hawke and my past life can suck it. So I am thrilled to announce that I start my dream job tomorrow. It marries health, community and art in a smart, stylish way and I'm so grateful that I found myself in this position, with the skill set necessary to do the job with vigor and guts. This is what has been humming in the cells of my marrow. This is where I've followed the trail of curbside litter and miscellany. This is where I'm at... and I'm stoked!
I truly cherish the friends I've made in the past five years at the same company, and I trust that the Universe will take care of my enemies (wut?). I'm beyond thrilled to sport a career that fits and, more than anything else, I'm so relieved that I get to be myself again.
P.S. I finally have my very own Instagram account! Follow me if you're feelin' it!
P.P.S. Did I mention I missed you fools? I did!