The Terrible Burden of Being a Manic Pixie Dreamgirl
Well hello there! Thanks so much for weighing in on my last post! It's so rad to have like minded sisters and, as it turns out, most twenty something men and women have some trouble identifying and articulating feelings (something to do with being stupid)... which only becomes more obvious every time I'm mistaken for the elusive/nonexistent MPDG: the Manic Pixie Dreamgirl. Yesterday, for example...
The MPDG resting face... ruining it for the rest of us, Clem.
I didn't invent this trope (Nathan Rabin did), and I don't entirely agree with it. Basically, I think that the Sams and Clementines who seemingly only exist to shake up the plodding lives of the slow-to-process/slow-to-heal Andrews and Joels just need their own movies. I would watch that sh*t. It's reductive to say that quirky girls aren't real. Yes, they/we are corralled into MPDG territory if observed through the male gaze... but, DUDE, STOP MALE GAZING AT ME. I'M THE STAR OF MY OWN FREAKING MOVIE, OK?!? A movie which almost always includes a hopelessly confused and lovelorn brototype... What?! I'm, like, really passionate about CINEMA.
Whatever. I don't need to argue with Nathan Rabin (see Jezebel.com. That sh*t's been done.) But I am classified and, for lack of a better term, used as a MPDG all the damn time. I mean, I really play up the pixie thing... and I have the manic part DOWN... so bewildered bros just tend to fill in the rest. But I perform burlesque opera and collect 1950's prom dresses and listen to the Carpenters while writing poetry about the cult of Fiona Apple to make MY life more interesting... not yours. I have my own sh*t to deal with, and ladies, so do you. Some advice for fellow quirky girls:
- If you're struggling to maintain any sort of wild and carefree persona for the sake of keeping things "light and fun"... that doesn't sound fun for YOU. It sounds unsustainable. Run.
- If the person you're with loves to talk about how different you are from his ex... but, in that vein, still spends exorbitant amounts of time talking about said ex... it is very possible that he's not over her. You want to live and love in the present: he should be more interested in getting to know you and how the two of you work as a pair.
- If you're wondering when he's going to start paying you for all of your therapy sessions... GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT.
Ladies, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. And all four of my male readers, PLEASE weigh in. Do you see your female friends being treated like this and putting up with it on the regular? Have you ever (knowingly or unknowingly) dated an unofficial MPDG? Tell me!
I'll leave you with this :)