Everything, All At Once
Just some chaos.
By my homegirl, Camille Rose Garcia.
Hi darling friends! I started off 2014 with such a blazing blogging fever... wot hoppened?
Fact: I've been hustlin'.
Fact: I've been failing. Like, over and over and over again.
Fact: I've been cryin' about it. Also, I've been eating banana soft serve and drinking whiskey and sleeping 9 hours a night about it.
Friends, life has me a little down right now. Not in a completely inconsolable way, but in a way that has me berating myself for ever thinking I had anything figured out; for foolishly fretting about how I might assimilate various opportunities into my reality before said opportunities were in the metaphorical bag. (Btw, this bag is not a metaphor and you can cheer me up by buying me one for Valentine's Day. Or better yet, you can will the universe to make a published author, impressive career woman, and super proficient polymath out of me so I can buy it for myself... thx.)
In my relatively sulky state of being, I've been thinking a lot about whether or not there's any sort of symmetry in how and when flaming sh*t arrows and detonated love bombs, alike, pierce our guts and/or douse them in magical sparkle fluff. Decidedly, there is not. Your long-term to-do list; e.g. nab a sweet gig, con someone into marrying you, make babies if you're so inclined, can serve to motivate and inspire you, but aside from that, it doesn't mean a thing. You can't move to the next line item just because you crossed off the one preceding it, and you definitely can't wait to accomplish y if you haven't gotten around to x yet. You could be waiting forever, and waiting is the pits. Essentially, our accomplishments are not linear; they're all mixed up with breakdowns and defeats in a great vat of soupy entropy. It's not one thing at a time: you get engaged the same day you're diagnosed with something awful. You fall off your Louboutins and break your hip while walking up to accept your Nobel peace prize. You can't fathom making time to date anyone until you're financially solvent and thrilled with your day to day, but by that time, you're old as sh*t. Nope, it's not one thing after another: it's everything, all at once.
I'm not saying that we should stop dreaming or stop trying or that we should all become fatalists. Your life is abundance. For real: there are no limits. But let's make like the universe and cut it out with the tunnel vision. Let's take the good with the bad; let's weather the maelstrom of measles and gumdrops and typhoons and puppies and open our hearts and frontal lobes to all of it. All of the things. All of the time.
Get it girl.